Psalm 121:2

There have been so many times in the last five years that I wished I could have had a remote control for my life. I’ve so badly wanted to rewind to a special time, pause in a great moment, go in slow motion so I could savor the experience, and lastly there have been times that I’ve wanted to fast forward a time of pain.

Since our vacation in April things have been so wonderful for our family. We have been so very blessed with amazing moments with friends and family and many great times. The kids have been healthy, we have been non-stop with fun activities and have tried our best to savor every moment. Although, Gracie is missed daily God has really helped our hearts to enjoy this special season that he has given us.

Spring and Summer were always my favorite seasons now I realize more than ever, it may always be that way. I’m so thankful for the time we had and as we approach this new season I will continue to pray that God helps us through a time where our hearts may get more heavy then normal.

Fall and Winter while I enjoy things about them, they are definitely the most difficult for us. They bring upon many memories and the holidays, while we still rejoice in them, they are difficult to celebrate without our sweet baby girl.

As we approach Luke’s first day of Kindergarten my heart is filled once again with so many mixed emotions. While I am so very excited for him to start this new chapter in his life, I can’t help but think about what it would of been like for Gracie to be starting it with him. I’ve never been one to look too far into the future, but I always used to think about what it would be like for them to start school together. The other difficult part is we will be meeting new friends, ones that don’t know "our story.” When your loved one goes to be with Jesus, it’s so difficult as time passes because you don’t want to let go of who you were. All our new friends will know us as Adam, Terra, Luke and Abbey. Of course in time they will learn of Gracie, but they will have never have known her and the life we had with her. It almost feels like each time a new change/chapter comes, it is as if we are having to let her go all over again and sadly it hurts and brings much pain. Thankfully God meets us at our pain when we reach out to Him.

Oh how I am so thankful that at times like this we do not have to be alone....how great to know while we are having all these emotions we can go to our Lord for help.

We will forever be grateful that "Our help comes from the Lord, the Maker and Creator of Heaven and Earth." Psalm 121:2

While I wish I could fast forward this hurt, I know God is holding on to us and helping us grow closer to him through times like these. He will pull us through as He always does and on Luke's first day of school I will probably shed many tears. Tears of joy, happiness and excitement for him along with tears of knowing that even though I want Gracie there with Luke, she is where she is suppose to be.

Thanks for checking in. Until next time....

All our love