More conversations about Heaven

The other day Luke and I were looking at Paul Cardal’s blog and there was a picture of him (Paul) holding his daughter’s hand as they were walking into a pool. Luke first asked if that was Daddy and Gracie. Then the conversation was as follows:

Luke: Mom that little girl looks just like Gracie. Except that little girl looks like she is five, but hey wait a minute Gracie is five right? Mom, how exactly does Jesus celebrate birthdays in Heaven? Sure wish Gracie and I could celebrate our birthdays together.

Me: You know buddy I’m not sure if they celebrate birthdays?

Luke: Is Gracie a real Angel with wings now?

Me: No sweetie, I don't believe so.

Luke: Then why do you call her Angel Gracie?

Me: Well I guess because an Angel can be described as someone who is beautiful, sweet, pure and good. I consider you, Gracie and Abbey my little Angels, but it’s just a word mommy uses. God actually created Angels and Humans like us and we are both different, but both created by God. Mommy likes to imagine that an Angel came and gave Gracie a ride to Heaven.

Luke: That’s cool-Hope I get that ride too

Me: You just may some day

Luke: Well mom, only God knows everything and she might be an Angel, but I want her to wait until I get up there and then after her and I play for a couple days then she can be an Angel again.

Me: Ok sweetie and you are right only God knows, but the bible does give us some information about Angels, mommy will find it and read it to you.

Sigh...cute coversation but always emotional for me. For sure thought he was done after all that...nope...but before I go on wanted to share a couple cute pictures. You can see how special their bond was. Luke just adored Gracie!

Continued........

Luke: Are there beds in Heaven?

Me: I’m sure there are

Luke: Do you think Gracie has a bed?

Me: I’m sure she is resting up there

Luke: Will Abbey and I have a bed up there?

Me: I’m sure you both will have a special place up there as well.

Luke: If Abbey is too little and they do not have a bed for her I will share mine with her.

Me: So sweet buddy, now let’s get ready for bed

Luke: Wait Mom, I have something else to tell you. Sometimes I really want to go to Heaven to be with Gracie, but then I would be sad without you, daddy and Abbey. Now that Abbey is here I wish I could go to Heaven to be with Gracie, then come back to Abbey. you know.....go back and forth. Mom, why can’t we go back and forth again?

Me: Well, when God calls us home it is our final destination/place. So, once we get there we do not come back.

Luke: “Oh” I get it, we can’t go to Heaven until we are really old Like 99 right? Or wait a minute, how old was Gracie when she went to Heaven? Three right? Sometimes I get sad she is trapped in Heaven.

Me: Gracie was three. We are not sure why God takes some of us sooner than others. Wont it just be so great to ask him when we get to Heaven? He knows ALL the answers. Sweetie I know you miss sissy and so do we. It’s ok to miss her, we can watch more videos if you want to? And buddy...she is not trapped in Heaven, I promise you she is loving it and can’t wait to see us all.

Luke: Well I guess I will just keep missing Gracie and when God decides he wants all of us then we can go. I hope we all go together mom.

Me: Me too, let’s just continue to learn more about God and we will keep Jesus close in our hearts. How does that sound?

Luke: Mom..Now I am ready for bed can you quit typing everything I said. :)

Me: It was too special to not share with everyone. You are quite the smart boy. Love you with all my heart.

Luke: You can’t love me with all your heart, you have to share your heart with all of us, we are a family.

Me: Ok smarty pants, time for bed!!

Luke: I love you mommy and I love God too!

My prayer that night: Thank you Lord for keeping Gracie so close to Luke’s heart. I still cannot believe how much he thinks of her. I know that is your doing and I thank you for that blessing. Also, thank you for giving me a wonderful way to keep Luke interested in You, Heaven and eternal life. What a hidden blessing I have found. AMEN.

To my readers, the song "I can only imagine" that is playing is another song that I used to dance with and sing to Gracie. She loved to dance with mommy. This song used to bring tears to my eyes and chills to my body. It's been another hard one for me to listen to as it reminds me of when Gracie used to say, "again" "more" she wanted me to play it over and over. It reminds me so much of her. Now I am able to hear it with new tears of knowing that she does not have to imagine anymore she is right there with him.

Until next time.

Love,

Terra

Great News

So sorry it has taken a while to update since Abigail's appointment. My hope was to share with you a little more than just the update however, time is just so difficult to find lately.

Until I have more time, I wanted to at least let you know the wonderful news. Miss Abigail's lungs look great. There is a little fluid, but the amount is no longer of concern. The great news is her heart function is great! Love great news.

As you know we have faced many struggles with feeding issues for the last five years. I wish I could tell you how happy and amazed I was to hear that Abigail is 18.4 lbs! Such a tremendous blessing. The biggest blessing of it all is that she loves to eat, as a matter of fact she gets quite upset when she is not fed immediately. We love it! We rejoice in it! We thank God for it! and Hope it continues this way.

Thanks for all your love and prayers. It's amazing to witness how powerful God can be through prayer.

Love to all!

Big smiles when we got back from her appointment

Anxiety

Philippians 4:6-7 says do not worry about anything, but with prayer and supplication with thanksgiving make your requests known to God and then the peace of God will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Quite some time ago I used to be a very anxious person. I could go on and on about all the things I used to get anxious about, however I much rather tell you about how as my faith has continued to grow.... that very part of my life has changed for the better. I no longer seem to be as anxious and the little things...well they are just that, little... and they no longer have an affect on me like they used to. When you give everything to the Lord and put it in his hands it does this amazing thing to your soul, it puts it at rest. Now of course we still have to manage our lives, it’s just helpful when you know that someone much bigger is behind it all and in complete control.

So why is it there is still one thing that always seems to make me anxious? Even though I know we are not to be anxious. The Bible is constantly reminding us that Jesus made himself king over us for many purposes including to take away our anxiety. Jesus does not want us to be anxious. I know this and I am some what of a smart woman, so again I ask myself why is it I still feel anxious when we are about to go to our “next appointment” for the kids.

I guess there are a few reasons why we feel this way. One big one is...that there is sin in our hearts and minds everyday. No matter how great of a Christian you are, it’s true, we are all sinners. That being said....the other reason is, after having three heart babies, there have been so many appointments where we have received bad news. When I look at the past six years of our lives it’s amazing how many times things would be going well and then within two to three months our world would come crashing down again.

I want so badly to have my heart filled with “Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.” I mean God appoints each day whether it will be a good one or one filled with trouble and truth is no matter what we do it’s already going to take place.

It’s just knowing that you were here.......

Can make your heart not want to ever go back there again. After being at the beside with your child as they lie there helpless how could you not be anxious about not wanting to be there again. Any of us would rather take the pain away from our children then to have them go through it themselves. No greater pain then the loss of a loved one and to witness your children suffer. I know our hearts should be focused on God's ultimate plan and glory, but again we are human and live in this sinful world. So I will continue to pray for the feelings we are having and pray for Adam and I to be anxious of nothing, to realize that we always give everything to God, big and small and these “appointments” should be no exception.

And now...I am going to spend some time this evening reading quotes and verses on being anxious, then I am going to pray that Abigail has a great appointment tomorrow and then I will give it all to God....lay my head down on the pillow and leave these adorable images of my sweet baby girl in my head......

Another sweet miracle!

Dear Lord:

We pray that you are with us tomorrow during Abigail's appointment

that the findings show there is no longer fluid around her lungs

that her heart is doing well and that the echo gives us good results

Lastly we thank you for your continued Love you always provide

Amen

Will definitely update by tomorrow...OK maybe Saturday knowing me. :)

Thank you for letting me share our hearts and for following us on our journey.