The other day Luke and I were looking at Paul Cardal’s blog and there was a picture of him (Paul) holding his daughter’s hand as they were walking into a pool. Luke first asked if that was Daddy and Gracie. Then the conversation was as follows:
Luke: Mom that little girl looks just like Gracie. Except that little girl looks like she is five, but hey wait a minute Gracie is five right? Mom, how exactly does Jesus celebrate birthdays in Heaven? Sure wish Gracie and I could celebrate our birthdays together.
Me: You know buddy I’m not sure if they celebrate birthdays?
Luke: Is Gracie a real Angel with wings now?
Me: No sweetie, I don't believe so.
Luke: Then why do you call her Angel Gracie?
Me: Well I guess because an Angel can be described as someone who is beautiful, sweet, pure and good. I consider you, Gracie and Abbey my little Angels, but it’s just a word mommy uses. God actually created Angels and Humans like us and we are both different, but both created by God. Mommy likes to imagine that an Angel came and gave Gracie a ride to Heaven.
Luke: That’s cool-Hope I get that ride too
Me: You just may some day
Luke: Well mom, only God knows everything and she might be an Angel, but I want her to wait until I get up there and then after her and I play for a couple days then she can be an Angel again.
Me: Ok sweetie and you are right only God knows, but the bible does give us some information about Angels, mommy will find it and read it to you.
Sigh...cute coversation but always emotional for me. For sure thought he was done after all that...nope...but before I go on wanted to share a couple cute pictures. You can see how special their bond was. Luke just adored Gracie!
Continued........
Luke: Are there beds in Heaven?
Me: I’m sure there are
Luke: Do you think Gracie has a bed?
Me: I’m sure she is resting up there
Luke: Will Abbey and I have a bed up there?
Me: I’m sure you both will have a special place up there as well.
Luke: If Abbey is too little and they do not have a bed for her I will share mine with her.
Me: So sweet buddy, now let’s get ready for bed
Luke: Wait Mom, I have something else to tell you. Sometimes I really want to go to Heaven to be with Gracie, but then I would be sad without you, daddy and Abbey. Now that Abbey is here I wish I could go to Heaven to be with Gracie, then come back to Abbey. you know.....go back and forth. Mom, why can’t we go back and forth again?
Me: Well, when God calls us home it is our final destination/place. So, once we get there we do not come back.
Luke: “Oh” I get it, we can’t go to Heaven until we are really old Like 99 right? Or wait a minute, how old was Gracie when she went to Heaven? Three right? Sometimes I get sad she is trapped in Heaven.
Me: Gracie was three. We are not sure why God takes some of us sooner than others. Wont it just be so great to ask him when we get to Heaven? He knows ALL the answers. Sweetie I know you miss sissy and so do we. It’s ok to miss her, we can watch more videos if you want to? And buddy...she is not trapped in Heaven, I promise you she is loving it and can’t wait to see us all.
Luke: Well I guess I will just keep missing Gracie and when God decides he wants all of us then we can go. I hope we all go together mom.
Me: Me too, let’s just continue to learn more about God and we will keep Jesus close in our hearts. How does that sound?
Luke: Mom..Now I am ready for bed can you quit typing everything I said. :)
Me: It was too special to not share with everyone. You are quite the smart boy. Love you with all my heart.
Luke: You can’t love me with all your heart, you have to share your heart with all of us, we are a family.
Me: Ok smarty pants, time for bed!!
Luke: I love you mommy and I love God too!
My prayer that night: Thank you Lord for keeping Gracie so close to Luke’s heart. I still cannot believe how much he thinks of her. I know that is your doing and I thank you for that blessing. Also, thank you for giving me a wonderful way to keep Luke interested in You, Heaven and eternal life. What a hidden blessing I have found. AMEN.
To my readers, the song "I can only imagine" that is playing is another song that I used to dance with and sing to Gracie. She loved to dance with mommy. This song used to bring tears to my eyes and chills to my body. It's been another hard one for me to listen to as it reminds me of when Gracie used to say, "again" "more" she wanted me to play it over and over. It reminds me so much of her. Now I am able to hear it with new tears of knowing that she does not have to imagine anymore she is right there with him.
Until next time.
Love,
Terra
WOW!!! Terra, the song and the post bring tears to my eyes, but some laughter too. I love sweet Lukes thinking. He is one smart little boy and you are so blessed. I don't know how you go without Gracie. I love the pictures that you shared and you can tell that Luke adored Gracie. So glad that you have a way to remember and keep things alive. I just want to keep going back and reading, remembering, laughing, and loving. You are prayed for daily and thought about too.
ReplyDeletemy heart is melting...
ReplyDeletesuch a sweet, tender, raw conversation about Jesus.
we love you guys dearly.
always,
the nelsons
I can bairly type, as I am sure my computer is about to fry from all of the tears that have just fallen on my keyboard. What a sweet moment. You indeed have a smarty pants on your hands. I love that song, and as well get a lump in my throat when I hear it. There is a sweet song written by Jana Alayra (who lost her daughter at 3 in a car addicent) and one of the lines is "I will fall at His knee for all he's done for me, then straight into your arms I will run...you live what I believe" its a sweet song, and think of you when I hear it. Love you all,
ReplyDeleteKathie
I have posted before, a long time ago, but I can't help and post tonight. What a sweet little boy you have and what wonderful parents you are that you have instilled in him a love for his sister AND God. It's not often that I don't shed tears when you write about Grace. I look at pictures of her and think of my blonde haired, three-year-old daughter who also has heart problems. You have endured so much with your children and even though we have never met, I really admire you.
ReplyDeleteLindsay
my blog is private but I would be happy to invite you if you send me your email. I hope it doesn't seem weird that a total stranger is commenting :) lindsaysells@sbcglobal.net
Oh, Terra... thank you for sharing such intimate moments between you and Luke. What a beutiful, loving heart he has. He is an amazing little boy... so smart... so very wise beyond his years. And, as always, the pictures of the Gracie and Luke together bring me free-flowing tears.
ReplyDeleteI've been so behind with keeping up with blogs and the update on Abbey's lungs, heart function and eating made me so happy! So grateful things are on the upswing!
Oh...and my email is:
kristiswann@aol.com
:-) Now that my household is finally healthy, perhaps we can figure out a time to get together?!
This is so sweet.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your encouraging comment on my blog. I want you to know that you have been in my prayers as well. It takes trials like we are going through to really make us depend on the Lord alone. I know that I've only a small taste of what you've been through, but we have the same God that it faithful.
I'm glad I found your blog ... I will be praying for you guys and keeping up with what's going on!
I don't know how I missed this post!
ReplyDeleteHonestly though...this made my heart feel heavy. His little mind trying to find sense in all of it. You are AMAZING through all of this. I just don't know...I can't get my head around it. I share in your joy that he holds Gracie so very close to his little heart.
Praying all is well on your front.
Missing you guys. We always keep you in our thoughts and prayers. So glad to hear that Abbey and Luke are doing well. Lots of love- The Queen Family
ReplyDelete