Gracie's Journal

Not to long ago I ran across a journal I had written for Gracie...

After reading about a daughters greatest gift... Her mothers journal to her. I decided I wanted to do the same for Gracie. I started the journal when Gracie was 1 1/2 years old. It was important for me to share with Gracie all my feelings about what we had been through and how deeply blessed we were to have God choose us to be her parents. I shared with her that she was a special gift, perfectly created in the image of God. Many pages were about how much we deeply loved her...others were quotes and bible verses. It was my hope to have her always be comforted by Gods word. As I sit here and read her journal, she is now comforted not by Gods word, but by Him Himself. Simply Amazing. She is in the hands of her Rock, her Fortress and her Deliverer.

This journal tugs at the deepest parts of my soul...as I read what I wrote to her, I was reminded once again of how much I adored her. How deeply in love we were with our little princess. As I read page by page I found myself falling into complete despair...fresh wounds opened up once again...as parents all we want to do is protect our children...imagine not being able to...have you ever missed someone while they were away? Imagine if the missing never went away...

As I was feeling these emotions..I was finding comfort in the verses I shared with Gracie. The very same journal I created for her was now bringing me comfort.

My last entry in the journal was after October 2007, three months before she went to be with Jesus...

I'm so thankful for our God, I'm so thankful that....For God so loved the world that he gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

Dear God,

Thank you for your promise.

Thank you for your faithfulness.

Thank you for loving me and all my imperfections.

Thank you for covering our pain with your warm embrace

Thank you for restoring us

Thank you for loving your Children

Thank you for blessing me with Gracie

Thank you for keeping Gracie in your presence

Most importantly thank you for giving your Son, Jesus so that we may all have eternal life and once again be reunited with our sweet Gracie.

Love never leaves a mother's heart--

Sweet Gracie...

I will miss you always and love you forever

My soul, find rest in God;my hope comes from Him Psalm 62:5

Grieving does not have a time frame or a map...

Grief is such a strong word. Are we still grieving? I'm not sure how to answer that question. What I can explain to you is the deep pain that we have felt has been covered by God's love. When our hearts ache deeply for Gracie we find comfort from His spirit within us, scripture and His promises.

We are in perfect peace knowing Gracie is exactly where she is suppose to be. There is no amount of time that can pass that will make us miss her any less, we will always miss her. Through the loss of Gracie we continue to persevere and through this God has provided us with an inner strength we did not know existed. We feel we have such a better understanding of what eternal life really means. It gives us a deeper purpose. Through Gracie we have developed a relationship with God that we may never have had. There is not a day that goes by that Gracie is not deeply missed, she is a part of "us", but we will continue to live, laugh and feel blessed for what God continues to provide our family with.

I will always cherish this journal, it will always be a special way to remember Gracie.

Thank you once again for letting me share my heart.

All my love,

Terra