Isaiah 55:8-9

August 2009

It's hard to believe this picture was taken over four years ago, yet I remember so vividly all the thoughts that were going through my head.

After Gracie's passing we knew at some point and time we may want to have another child, but our hearts were not ready when we had learned that we were pregnant in December 2008. (11 months after Gracie went to be with Jesus)

The first three months of pregnancy were extremely difficult.  I was nauseous throughout the day, at the same time there was a feeling of guilt.  During a time when most parents would be rejoicing of the news, rejoicing is not easily found in a heart that is grieving.

We did not think our hearts were ready....God did. 

At the beginning of month four, I was diagnosed with Placenta Previa and was put on strict bed rest.  During this time my grandmother whom I dearly loved had passed and I was unable to attend her service.  As I was laying in bed I was grieving the loss of my beautiful grandmother and still feeling the heavy loss of Gracie.  During this time on the same day we had learned that we were going to have another baby girl and she too would be born with a heart condition.  Our minds would often go to the question, why?

We could not understand why God would take one daughter away to give another with a heart condition as well....God Understood.  


As I approached the end of month five I was still on bed rest and we had learned that Luke's valve that he received during open heart surgery in May 2008 (10 months after Gracie's passing) was starting to narrow.  Adam had met with three different surgeons and we received the weight of three different opinions.  After much prayer we felt led to head up north and have a stent placed in the narrowing valve as opposed to open heart surgery.  We continuously felt God's love and protection, but during this difficult time there was still the heavy weight of not understanding why all this was happening.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.  As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your way and my thoughts than your thoughts.  Isaiah 55:8-9

Was blessed to be taken off of strict bed rest during month seven and at the beginning of month eight we packed up and headed up north to Palo Alto so we could start preparing for my c-section.  The photo above was taken a few days before we were blessed with Abbey.  As Adam, Luke and I walked through the campus we were filled with many mixed emotions, however we knew that God would carry us through this and we knew he would never leave us or forsake us.  Also...

We had no idea how much we needed Abbey...God Knew 

Although our hearts were aching for Gracie, we were able to find comfort in our future with Abbey.

"For I know the plans I have for you, "declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

We know that with Him completing each chapter in our life...it's going to be a beautiful ending, so we continue to put all our hope and trust in Him. 

August 2013

Abbey has filled our home with so much love and laughter..

and this Sunday we will be celebrating our sweet girls 4th birthday!  Feeling so blessed!